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NOTE: this version was ganked from Ansat's homepage,
and updated to known current email addys and websites.
A brand new FAQ should be out soon.
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Well, it took two years, but Kilgore finally talked me into revising the
Frequently Asked Questions file for State of unBeing. Following the slowest
committee editing process outside of government, it's now ready for release.
Special thanks to I Wish My Name Were Nathan, who did about half the work.
(That means I can say whatever I want, and no one can be sure it wasn't him.
Except him, I suppose.) Let us know if it seems that something was omitted.
You can reach the editor, Kilgore Trout, at (kilgore@eden.com). (Please note
that this is a different address from the last edition.)
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State of unBeing is an online e-zine dedicated to bringing you "quality literature and literary trash," as I believe Hagbard put it. In the words of Kilgore Trout, "We may be literary trash, but we're original literary trash." The indirect successor of the ill-fated underground newspaper Where There's a Will There's an @ and kind-of brainchild of Kilgore Trout, SoB has been bringing the best original literature in America (and now the world) for free, over the phosphors to you.
State of unBeing launched its first issue in January of 1994, and has been in continuous publication -- more or less -- for more than four years now.
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2) What are some internet addresses I should know?
In lieu of repeating them over and over again:
Note! Kilgore is a transient college student and his address is likely to change during the summer and at other inconvenient times. Please check the latest issue (via the SoB home page) to verify his current address.
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3) Where, and when, can SoB be found?
Ideally, State of unBeing is released on the 23rd of every month. Neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night will let us out of the house, so sometimes Kilgore gets it done. Occasionally it is delayed a day or two, or, in the case of issue #8, seven months.
The symbolic home of State of unBeing is Kilgore's own BBS, iSiS UNVEiLED. The first BBS to officially carry the e-zine was THE LiONS' DEN. State of unBeing has outlived both of these.
The best way to find State of unBeing is on the Web, thanks to Hagbard's upkeep and I Wish My Name Were Nathan's HTMLizing, at the SoB home page. All the files referenced by the home page are in the FTP archives, if you're a purist. Additionally, SoB can be located via several Veronica and Gopher locations. To get it the day it is released, request to be added to the mailing list by mailing Kilgore.
Finally, there is talk of a zines CD-ROM, through the work of Mogel, formerly of Hogz of Entropy and now part of the zine Doomed to Obscurity. As information on this reaches us, we will add this, too, to the FAQ.
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Submissions can be sent directly to Kilgore Trout at his e-mail address. Be aware that the primary means of submission is via e-mail to our esteemed editor, and that any other routes (i.e. telepathy, other writers, snail mail) may or may not work.
Some notes on submissions: please include a handle (and a title) with your piece so we don't have to use your jackass e-mail name. Try to format your piece similarly to the SoB text issues so Kilgore doesn't have to do any more work than he usually does.
If you sysop a BBS and want to become a distribution site, contact Kilgore through his e-mail address. He can also be contacted through Hagbard via e-mail to hagbard@null.net.
Either way, if you have a copy of SoB, upload it to all the boards you call. Then print up a couple of dozen copies and give them to friends. Print up more and give them to enemies, employers, teachers, homeless people, store owners, legislators, strangers, maybe even Agent Williams (US Secret Service). Remember, though, do not charge money, except possibly to defray paper and ink costs. Making a profit off this e-zine is in violation of copyright laws --I think -- and heap bad karma.
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5) Just why DO you always use a lowercase 'i' in your titles?
Um, I don't know. Uh, because it's cool, I guess. No! Wait! It is k-rad and elite. All REAL hackers and phreaks do it. Don't you?
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6) You're all a bunch of commie leftists, aren't you?
No, we are right-wing commies. Actually, we are a front for the Christian Coalition.
Truthfully, though, we are a number of people of different backgrounds that have come together for open discussion. We welcome submissions on almost anything from almost any political, social, or religious position. You must be willing to be attacked in later letters to the editor, or maybe even in later articles.
But you knew that already.
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7) Which one of you is the biggest Irish loving bastard?
Clockwork. His empathy for the Irish race is so strong he cannot even write about them without breaking into tears. Obviously, his lack of articles on the Irish Problem proves he is the biggest Irish loving bastard.
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8) How come I never see any ASCii pictures of nekkid babes in State of unBeing?
You submit them and we'll look at them.
We won't run them, though, because we are so devoted to our moral standards.
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9) Why did this version take so long coming out?
Because I am lazy, and Kilgore is not persuasive enough.
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10) Why haven't we seen any installments of the Seven Tales of Spam lately?
Because Flying Rat's Nostril is lazy, and needs his ass whipped. (I Wish My Name Were Nathan wrote this. Honestly.) (No, I didn't.)
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11) Whatever happened to iSiS UNVEiLED, Kilgore's board?
Nothing happened to it. We changed the number and don't want you to know it. But keep calling the number published in old issues and you can talk to some local townies.
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12) What the hell is "The Soapbox"?
Hagbard's excuse for a submission. It was his last, to date.
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13) What is the fabled "pure issue?"
It's a well-known secret, this. When State of unBeing #8 finally came out after being painfully reconstructed after an SS raid, Kilgore was under intense scrutiny not to attract any more attention. So, in the very next issue, #15, he rejected all submissions containing the word "fuck." The stories and articles making the issue were very tame, with titles focusing on classic Swedish literature, the pledge of allegiance, writing, American heroes, and contemporary issues such as AiDS. Kilgore was rebellious, however, and made sure that the Swedish literature was about Satanism, the AiDS article insinuated the government created it, and that the one poem in the issue had pederastic overtones.
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14) How many people think Kilgore Trout is a Vonnegut character?
Currently, of all the people who have written email to Kilgore and/or had their letters published in the zine, the only ones who "knew" that Kilgore was a real person only using a handle were his friends who had been paid to write the letters. The total number of messages expressing ignorance on the issue to date is about 245. Frankly, the majority is right.
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15) Are Crux Ansata, Bobbi Sands, Nemo est Sanctus, and The Reverand Toad the same person?
Stop asking this question. We don't know where you got it from.
And Kilgore has never molested a child in his life.
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16) Are there really only three writers?
There is only one writer.
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This question refers to Noni Moon's candid interview with Kilgore Trout in issue #23, where Kilgore "admitted" that the whole SS raid/Agent Williams story was a myth, made up to cover for the "fact" that he couldn't get issue #8 out in time due to lack of submissions.
In strictest confidence, yes, Kilgore did get paid off, for an undisclosed sum, delivered in a plain brown envelope to his door. This sum also guaranteed a new as yet only alluded-to mythos: the run of missing August issues. This mythos entails the "fact" that the writers are busy preparing to return to college during that month, thereby killing the issue that month. The truth, however, is that the SS monitors Kilgore's house for the span of August 15-31 to be sure he doesn't try to release an issue that month, all to remind him to watch his back.
This also explains the dearth of inside jokes to the Secret Service raid in this release of the FAQ.
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18) Is "Chaos Penetration" real?
Everything is real. Chaos penetration is not real. Chaos penetration is everything.
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We thought you could ask more interesting questions.
Ha! Ha! Seriously, we'll try to answer. This is apparently a coded message that some four or five readers like to send us every few months. We searched through all the USENET FAQs for a clue, and found nothing. We looked in Altavista, and found nothing. We sent our editor to Egypt, and he found not a thing. We even tried the Egyptian embassy in Austin. No answers.
Hagbard and Captain Moonlight got together to tackle the meaning of this coded message, and through extensive effort, they finally handed Kilgore a confidential document revealing the meaning behind the phrase, guaranteed to an accuracy of 99%. The document read:
"'Who constructed the pyramids?'
"We have determined that 'built' is an inappropriate verb considering the historical-linguistical context."
The two were executed on the spot.
So, tentatively, the answer is: "like, dead people, or something."
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For just such situations as this, we now offer the State of unBeing IRC channel. Tune in to the channel #unbeing on undernet and see who's around.
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Now it is time for biographies of a few of State of unBeing's authors, one groupie, and, of course, our Esteemed Editor. This is by no means a complete list, and we have new authors almost every issue. If you have written for SoB and want to see your biography here, you know how to get it to us. Maybe we'll add it in a later release.
KiLGORE TROUT (real name: Kevin Midland): Editor and publisher of a number of subversive publications, including Where There's a Will There's an @ and State of unBeing. Despite attempts to jail him on subversion, sedition, and even child molestation, he always has managed to stay one step ahead of the law. Originally one of the Illuminati (not one of the Five, but pretty darn close), he has turned against these "people" and their plans to enslave humanity. He swears he will continue publishing the truth until it kills him, or the government does. Or maybe until he's saved up enough for more vodka.
iNTROVERT: A one-time contributor to the zine, but a frequent face around the local Austin BBS scene, Introvert published his own zine, The Vertigo Voice, back issues of which can be found on Kilgore's web page (http://www.eden.com/~kilgore). Sadly, Introvert committed suicide on December 9th, 1996, and we feel he should be memorialized here.
TACHYON: Tachyon, having written a great deal of the breakthrough information for SoB #8, remains active in the development of world affairs. Tracking him down is practically impossible. Nevertheless, we still received his bio, though in a fashion we did not expect. Kilgore's grandmother found an old and worn package in her attic that had never been opened. It was addressed to Kilgore (with his real name). Upon opening it we found the following:
Heard y'all were updating the FAQ, so here is my bio- I was born. I am alive. I am in deep shit. I'll be moving to California soon and starting a mining supply store. Hope that helps.
CRUX ANSATA: Crux Ansata, or "ansat," is a student and writer in the central Texas area. He used to believe in the People, the Revolution, and the inevitability of international socialism. Now, he exists solely to please Kilgore.
BOBBi SANDS (real name: Alison Kelly): is an Irish Republican Army volunteer from Belfast. Taking her name from Bobby Sands, the H-Block Martyr, she does occasional ops for the international revolution and occasional political pieces for SoB. She was last seen in a white blouse and red and white checkered apron, riding off into the Arizona desert crying something about becoming White trash or dying in the attempt. We hope she finds peace.
CAPTAiN MOONLiGHT: Has never done anything illegal that can be proven. Most of Moonlight's articles revolve around his political and religious beliefs, heavily influenced by the Irishman James Connolly, among others. He takes his name from one of the names used by leaders of the White Boys, a nineteenth-century Irish revolutionary organization dedicated to freeing the land from foreign land-owners and giving it to those who worked it. (Their name refers to the white shirts they wore in order to identify each other at night.) He tries to follow George Bernard Shaw's words in Maxims for Revolutionists: "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." He believes in the value of human life and love, and in social organisation based on lifting up the oppressed and those in need, as Don Quixote might have put it. He is currently trying to put together a philosophy based not only on surviving, but also on living.
NEMO EST SANCTUS: Nemo's parents think he spends his time studying, so one day he will get a diploma and stop costing them money. Nemo really spends his time studying magick and theology, with occasional forays into philosophy. He figures education is to create a better person, and as long as he's a lost cause he might as well spend his time entertained.
DARK CRYSTAL SPHERE FLOATiNG BETWEEN TWO UNiVERSES: The SoB author with the distinction of having the longest handle, DCSFBTU is one of the authors belonging to the SoB School of Neo-Lovecraftian Weird Fiction, or the SoB School of Neo-Decadence, following primarily the theories set forth by H. P. Lovecraft, among others, and works for the atmosphere in weird fiction and poetry, dealing both with the supernatural and literature the darker tendencies of man's mind. His writings are influenced by his studies in the occult and in religion, as well as his reading of weird authors, primarily the French and English Decadents, the Lovecraft Circle, and scattered writers in Europe and America, primarily of the later half of the nineteenth and first half of the twentieth centuries, such as Arthur Machen, M. R. James, and Edgar Allan Poe, as well as a few more modern (and more ancient) writers. He believes that we are all "Dark Crystal Spheres Floating Between Two Universes", being caught among sometimes conflicting Realities and Worlds.
i WiSH MY NAME WERE NATHAN: "Seeking Hollywood fame by writing sitcoms for ABC's T.G.I.F. prime-time" -- Nathan's friends, and eventually Nathan himself, decided that bio would be a great way for him to get a good ass-kicking. Known for years to be a cynical, atheistic, life-hating bastard, Nathan recently discovered psychedelic drugs, and almost changed. A deep-seated understanding of the arbitrariness of belief and language now allow him to enjoy life, if only for the humor value. Finds his philosophy mirrored in Zen Buddhism, often making him wonder if it's just his ass that's stuck in the United States. A distaste for getting caught in other people's mindfucks threatens to make him unemployable and eternally single; a love for absurdity and fine Kentucky vodka help him cope. Seeking a system that brings rationality and aesthetics together; now using Linux. Current project: to deconstruct mathematics.
GRiPHON: Griphon is a native Texan, but is currently serving a four year "term" at college in Memphis, Tennessee. His goal, if you could call it such, is to be a writer or maybe even open a publishing house with Kilgore and put out some good, deserving, counter-culture material. Griphon focuses mainly on prose and poetry, but has been known to write a damn fine essay every now and again. His favorite writers include T.S. Eliot, Albert Camus, Kathy Acker, Ernest Hemingway, and Sylvia Plath. You can usually find Griphon at a coffeehouse or a live show when he's not on the Drag with Kilgore or at school. Griphon is into Zen and other Eastern philosophies, taking every opportunity to enter new stages of consciousness through meditation or hitting a bong.
HAGBARD: Hagbard is a native of Earth. He began his sporadic career with SoB when it first started and has been writing little to nothing ever since. Still, he does maintain the web site with most of the work being done by IWMNWN. Hagbard is an actor, director, designer, armchair physicist, and a good cook. He also moonlights as a [CENSORED] where [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] a [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] burning crosses. [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] , but [CENSORED CENSORED] quantum electrodynamics [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED] the [CENSORED CENSORED]. [CENSORED CENSORED]. [CENSORED] frog levitation.
CLOCKWORK: Is usually chained in a solitary room to perform the functions of an employee for a monopolizing, corporate giant in the Austin area. Unlike most others he associates with, he is not a student in the typical sense, but a student of self-taughtedness. Commonly found gallivanting about the universe, disappearing and reappearing, he is convinced of his immortality and the significance of his existence. He puts humans on the same pedestal as he puts animals (and he is highly fond of animals), and teenagers on a pedestal above that. And he wonders if he does too many drugs. He sees himself within ten years being the center of some universal attention, a savior of humanity, or living silently as a deranged hermit in the woods, eating various mosses he stumbles upon.
NONi MOON: Noni is currently a journalism student at the University of Texas in Austin. Her contributions to the zine include interviewing most of the long-time writers and chronicling the infamous New Year's Eve '96 party. Her blue hair and way-too-hip name make her real easy to spot in public, and in her spare time Noni wonders how she got involved with the zine in the first place.
MORRiGAN: After a childhood spent in the shadows of a traditionally evil stepmother named Muffy, a vaguely friendly if somewhat eccentric neighbor (recently revealed to be the Unabomber), and five older brothers, Morrigan was shipped off to boarding school in southern California. There she found (among other things) a modem and a group of people who claimed to be normal. Now she bides her time, reading everything she can find (which usually doesn't happen to be an assignment), spending serious (wasted) quality time staring blanking at a computer screen, chatting brightly with her completely misguided mandatory psychiatrist, smiling innocently in response to all questions, and occasionally thinking, even if it is extremely painful.
THE DANCiNG MESSiAH: Following an ill-fated stint in the U.S. Army, from which he was medically discharged following a training-related head wound, the Dancing Messiah produced the poetry which appeared in State of unBeing. He is now somewhere in Texas, reportedly doing very well for himself managing something or other, and apparently avoiding further contact with ansat.
iVY CARSEN: Currently studying for the theater in a conservatory in New York City (yes, I believe it is on Broadway), Ivy Carsen remains the love of ansat's life, even if they haven't seen each other in close to five months. (Three thousand miles is a long way to drive for a date.) Don't look for any more work from her soon; she's on her way to a real artistic career.
ADiDAS: Adidas is a high school student in Austin, TX. He has hopes and ambitions, but prefers just to sit around and play Tetris. Dreams of music and movies dance in his head, but the reality of law and doctors pin him down. He's goat a strange obsession with farm animals, which provides for non-comic puns now and then.
FLYiNG RAT'S NOSTRiL: FNR has produced one of the most amusing State of unBeing continuing series, and spawned his own little high-school cult following. Unfortunately, we appear to have lost him under the bed, along with his notebooks.
KiDKNEE: KidKnee is a lost island rumored to exist, though few have any real proof. His most prominent asset is obscurity, and few can really confirm he still exists. The Arcane fairy blessed him with more than a few dots. At that, we can only wait for him to project into this dimension again at some random time to say a few random words about something randomly profound.
NOMAD: Nomad used to live in Texas, but escaped to the north to attend school in Wisconsin. I think he has my copy of The Poetic Edda.
PHAEDROUS: Phaedrous is one of the greatest of the dialogues. Phaedrous is a conversation, not a discourse or a succession of questions and answers directed to a single subject. Phaedrous has with him a piece of writing about love which he greatly admires and reads to Socrates.
RiCH LOGSDEN: Since receiving my Ph. D. in Eighteenth Century English literature from the University of Oregon in 1976, I have taught English at the Community College of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas. Yes, indeed, I am a professor. Currently, I am editor-in-chief of "Red Rock Review," a kind of mainstream literary magazine.
I think I probably like all the wrong things. Certainly, I love being in Las Vegas. With round-the-clock entertainment, continual visual and auditory stimulation, I don't have to think, I don't have to worry, and I think I'll probably live a lot longer than most of you. I love sports. My passion is soccer; I coach an adult team in the Las Vegas Premiere Soccer League and emphasize winning at all costs. I love trashy movies, like Tarantino's "True Romance" or "Pulp Fiction." I think Ty Cobb was the greatest baseball player of all times, a good human being, and someone we should all seek to emulate. I'd rather hang out at Hooters than at a coffee house (Whistle Willy's, the setting of my story "Jim Jeffries," is Hooters. It's the only place in town where I am truly loved and respected.) And, yes, I enjoy contributing to SoB.
CRACKMONKEY: (aka Aeon) Crackmonkey is the Official State of unBeing Groupie for Life. As she has yet to send me her bio, I include her physical description alone:
ok...lets see here. i'm about 5'4", yeah i know i'm short. my eyes are hazel brown and turn all sorts of funky shade of orange or yellow and sometimes green. i think i've already told you about my hair, so i don't really need to go into much detail there except for that its reddish brown.i wear stuff. i have lots of chains, most which never come of unless i have to look really nice and a collar with spikes which i love. i got it freshman year and it's my baby. i actually just got a new collar thingie, except it's just a metal band and you have to screw it in. i wear alot of black, but i get bored too often to just wear it all the time. plus i have so many helluv cool shirts to just wear black all the time. i used to have a leash, but i lost it. i'm trying to think how else i would describe my appearance, but i can't think right now. if you think of anything i missed, just ask.
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State of unBeing is copyrighted © 1994-2000 by Kilgore Trout and Apocalypse
Culture Publications. This FAQ is copyrighted © 1995, 1997, 1998, 2000. All rights are
reserved to cover, format, editorials, and all incidental material. All
individual items are copyrighted © 1994-2000 by the individual author, unless
otherwise stated. This file may be disseminated without restriction for
nonprofit purposes so long as it is preserved complete and unmodified. Quotes
and ideas not already in the public domain may be freely used so long as due
recognition is provided.
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