(*) (*) (. .) (.) -oo-----oo- | úSwanKú | | | | June | \\// | | \\// (..) | 6/11/95 | (..) \/ | | \/ ///( )\\\ | Issue 2 | ///( )\\\ || ----------- || "" "" ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Table of Contents ú1ú Introduction ú2ú User Listings ú3ú What we at úSwanKú Like ú5ú Short, Short Story -- "Yer Welcome" ú6ú Quotes of the Month ú7ú Two Damned Animals Arguing ú8ú Question Section ú9ú Letters to the Editor ú10ú Sylizxn Section ú11ú Sorry, But.... ú12ú By the Time I Get to Nicaragua ú13ú Fashion Section ú15ú The Silver Surfer Saga ú16ú What The? ú17ú Informal Interview with "I Wish my Name Were Nathan" ú18ú The Tower ú19ú Henry ú20ú All About You ú21ú Alcohol ú22ú Question Answers ú23ú Some Information ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Introduction By: Adidas Welcome. We made it to a second edition. I really don't have much to say now. We decided to start this issue off with what we like, 'stead of what we hate, which was in the first issue. Some of the members that didn't get anything in for the first issue, got some stuff in for this one. And, we got some great poetry from some of the members, some of them are new members! Wa-hoo, we got three new users this month. Check it out. If you like it well, great, I like it too. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Our User Listing as of 06/11/95: Adidas Silver Surfer Prozac The Godfather Longshot Split Cybermage Saint Java Cherub NeuRoNauT SiNiSTeR ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ What We at úSwanKú Like ú1ú Chicks, Chicks, and like some more Chicks. ú2ú The Tribe. ú3ú You, the reader. ú5ú Nicaragua. ú6ú All numbers 'cept 4, or any number containing the number. ú7ú BNOAOE. ú8ú Sunny Delight! ú9ú That Taxi Driver dude. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Short, Short Story " Yer Welcome " By: Adidas Sam and Jed, after barely escaping the wolves, were still in need of some quick cash. Sam and Jed were walking down the street and, as usual, asking, or rather begging, for some money from the locals. Sam and Jed were not getting much cash this way, so they decided to think. While they were "thinking", which wasn't really thinking, but rather straining their brains, they noticed one of the houses had a "Welcome" mat. Sam asked, " Why'z that mat there? " Jed replied, " Uhm, I dunno " Then, suddenly: Sam yelled, " Oh, I know, it means we are welcome to all the stuff inside " Editors Note: The general idea for this story was given to me by a friend. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Quotes of the Month I was either too tired, or I couldn't think up any quotes, but either way, I am making this, the "Empty Section", for this month. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Two Damned Animals Arguing By: Adidas Jingle Bell Rock ---------------- (*) (*) (. .) I'm really cool... (.) / ------oo-----oo--------- |ú->kRiMe<- ú | | kilit | No your not... |úKeepoú | \\// / | | (..) | ú-> bmn <-ú | \ \/ | | ///( )\\\ | -]aMbuSh[- | Yes I am... || | | "" \ ------------------------ Oh yeah, your right, it is Winter... ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Question Section ú1ú What league combined with the NBA to form the current NBA? ú2ú What was special about that league's playing balls? ú3ú What was the Underground Railroad of the Civil War? ú5ú What does the biggest of the Budweiser frogs say? ú6ú Who is úSwanKú's editor? ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Letters to the Editor ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Editor, What the hell is the S.S.S. and The Tribe? Silver Surfer Ed- Silver Surfer Sucks, and a Major League Baseball team. [=:) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Editor, Is it me, or is this SwanK 'zine reminiscent of Junior High English? I must apologize for such a criticism, but the 'zine was filled, for the most part with what seemed like a gathering of loosely written articles peppered with hastily thrown together material by 'Adidus'. Thankfully not SwanK, Mr. RoseWater Ed- I think its just you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Remember to Send in your comments, questions, and death threats to us! ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Sylizxn Section By: Adidas " I've been to Nicaragua, and it really was Sylizxn... " " Just who the Sylizxn do you think you are? " " Sylizxn...did you see THAT? " " Those folks sure think they are Sylizxn " " To Sylizxn, or not to Sylizxn, THAT is the question " " Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a Sylizxn " " They don't call me a Sylizxn for nothing! " " I don't do Sylizxns " ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Sorry, But.... By: Adidas Sorry, but Saint Java's Holy Hat Person Jihad Sermons will not be continued in the úSwanKú Issues. He realized he already sent them into another 'zine, and didn't want them to be published in two magazines. But, that doesn't mean you can't read the Sermons, you can download them from The Seas of Cheese. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ By the Time I Get to Nicaragua By: Adidas By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have shot two men. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have kissed another girl. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have seen the fourth Batman movie, and hated it. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have destroyed the number four. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have blown up a small country. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, That word will have lost it's special meaning. By the Time I Get to Nicaragua, I'll have seen it all, and hated it. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Fashion Section By: Longshot OK, I really don't know what to really write about and I'm in the úSwanKú group. So, mainly I figured I would point out a lot of the flaws that I have seen BBS'rs have in the appearance. So, might as well make a Fashion Section. OK, basically these are the cheapest things that aren't going to make you look like a fucking dork or anything. Caps - Don't get any leather caps, those look sooo gay. The only thing that is acceptable to have leather is Bottle Cap hats. The caps that are the most cheapest to get and that is in, is the plain colored caps like all WHITE, BLACK, BLUE. You ain't going to get ragged on if you get a sorry Baseball Team ain't anybody gonna say shit it matches to your clothes and it's cheap. You can find a large amount of caps at L.J. Fashions located at Manchaca & Stassney in Austin. They have colors such as: MAROON - BLACK - RED - GREEN - BLUE - WHITE and the price is $6.95 + Tax. Which is the cheapest I know and if you really want some shit on it, they will print some on your cap which is $.25-$.50 / Letter, and they don't give a shit what you want on it you can have "I wanna fuck you in your mouth." They won't give a shit. They will just ask how you want it. It's really good service there, and large assortments of colors on T-shirts, Beanies, and Caps, as well as Rags. Shirts - There is a brand that is really good and cheap called BASIC TREND, this is a pocket T-shirt that you can find at TARGET. It's at like $8.00 each. But if you go there when the Back To School comes around they will be around $5.00 a shirt, and there you can find shirts that is the color of: YELLOW - WHITE - BLACK - RED - GREEN - BLUE - GRAY - STONE WHITE - PURPLE (Which acceptable only if you have the right colors to match with the rest.) There you can also find the sizes of XXL - XXXL, which are great because you can wear them for a year or two and they will still be lose on you to allow the air to circulate when the time in Texas gets fucking HOT! And it's great to get it like that. Now, don't wear shirts that has a BAND or anything on it if the picture is fading out, or cracking cuz it brings down your look. Pants - Basically anything goes as long as you have a different colors such as: MAROON - BLACK - BLUE - FADED BLUE - NAVY BLUE - STONE WHITE - GREEN - WHITE With those you have no trouble trying to match with the same clothes every time. You will be able to mix clothes matching. *NOTE* Stay away from MANEUVERS. They are great the first couple of times that you wear them, but then after a couple of months, the ZIPPER will soon break and you won't have to wear a long shirt to cover over the zipper. Glasses - I noticed a large majority of the BBS USER population wears glasses so here is some tips on picking the right ones. Go get some glasses that won't hide your EYEBROWS. Because with them hidden, making your head look smaller, and the glasses look larger, basically having the look that you are wearing those fucking GIGANTIC glasses that you can buy at Toy Stores. Don't get those WIRE Glasses, where the frame is all there but the bottom part is wire that hold the lens in. Because they tend to bring a messed up look. And they break easily like a piece of shit. So get a FULL FRAME. Don't get glasses that has too much GOLD or SILVER. Those tend to fucking hurt people's eyes when the sun glares off them. And don't get plastic glasses. They really bring out a negative image. As well as they can easily be broken. So stick with the metal frames. And FOR GOD SAKE'S, DON'T HAVE YOUR LENSES TINTED! They really reminds a lot of people of their teachers, and parents, and it sux. Just go search for some glasses on a GREAT HAIR Day, it's a lot better. You will then find the perfect pair. Necklaces - Don't ever EVER buy gold pendant and a Gold necklace. It just isn't around anymore. Silver is more around now. What a lot of people do is buy some Black Rope Necklaces (you can get it as a laced, kinda like shoelace but isn't flat, or you can get a leather.) And don't try to mix match like have a Silver Pendant and a gold necklace, or vice versa. Misc - OK. Fellows, I have seen many Goat-T's around, and they are long. Well, buzz it, because with it longer than 1" it looks like you have some pubic hairs, and it's just not right. It also tends to give you a look of your chin to be longer as well as makes your face draggin. So have it get buzzed to about a #2 clip. You don't necessarily need it to be stubble. But, just about half an inch. It brings a much better look. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ The Silver Surfer Saga By: Silver Surfer Our story begins around 11:30 am one bright and shiny Saturday morning. We find our hero (Silver Surfer) and his sidekick (Dorian Gray) on their way to Barton Creek Mall to terrorize people and hope that people show up for the first annual EViL REiGNS meeting (NOBODY! came). They are parked at a stoplight waiting for it to turn green while listening to the Beastie Boys and talking, unnoticed by Silver Surfer, the light turns green, but he just sits there and continues his conversation. Soon the prick behind him in the Porsche starts honking, realizing the light has turned green Silver Surfer decides it would be a good idea to start moving, the prick comes around Silver Surfer's car and decides he will be cool and show Silver his IQ ( ..|.. ). The prick then gets into the turn lane to go into the mall, since that is where SS, and DG are going they follow, the prick begins to get worried and speed up. What follows is the best part, Silver decides to get even by following this guy around the mall, before long they are traveling through the mall parking lot at 60 mph, and the next thing they know the guy heads out the exit to the mall. OK, not a great story, but it was fun as hell. I am not a very good writer either but maybe just maybe I can come up with something else. NOTE: All stories in this saga are portrayed in the manner that they truly happened and are 100% factual. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ What The? By: NeuRoNauT "What the hell?" "Umm..i dunno..." "C'mon...what?" "Nothin" "Tell me..." "dammit...no..." "I'm gonna hit you with this..." "dammit...stop trailing off. End with ONE period." "Okay..I'm sorry..." "dammit! I said stop!" >WHAM< "OKAY! OKAY! I'll stop...ouch...that hurt..." "YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!" >WHAM< >WHAM< >WHAM< -*)[WHAM!](*- "OW!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT LAST ONE HURT! I'M GONNA HIT YOU BACK!" "Hey! I stopped! Cool..." >CRACK< "The End..." >WHAM< ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Informal Interview with "I Wish My Name Were Nathan" By: Adidas You may be asking "Who the fuck is Nathan, and why the hell are you doing an Interview with him?" Well, Nathan is a writer for SoB, another great 'zine, and a pretty interesting guy. If more information is needed, well that's what this interview is for. ú1ú So, how's it going? Hey, Adidas, I'm doing just fine. Oh yeah. Sitting here thumbing through the latest issue of "Bop", having a teeny-bopping good time. After iSiS UNVEiLED, part 3, finally came up, ooh-whee, I got this interview and jumped right in. I'm pumped. ú2ú What's with that title "I Wish My Name Were Nathan", do you *TRULY* wish your name were Nathan? or is it just a scam to get some attention? Well, actually, sorta yeah. "Nathan" itself wouldn't go very well with my last name, but "Nathaniel" would, and my friends could call me "Nathan". But not "Nate" or "Nat". That'd piss me off. Yeah, I wish my name were Nathan. It's true. ú3ú Well, what then is your *REAL* name, since it isn't Nathan. Ed. Yawn. Now you see why my handle's so long. It's an ego thing. Like the guy with a short dick who buys a big truck to feel more like a man. Uh -- not me, though. It doesn't apply to me at all. I mean, really! Whoo boy, that was a bad analogy. Uh. Hmm. ú5ú Since you really wish your name were Nathan, why don't you just change it? It would ruin the beautiful fantasy. Also then I'd have to change my handle to "I Wish My Name Were Jeremy". ú6ú You are a college boy correct? What college do you attend? What are you majoring in? Yes, I am a wacked-out hippie pansy college boy. I go to Southwestern in good old Georgetown, Texas. (No comment.) (You neither.) I'm majoring in computer science, obviously. What else? Actually, I see it as simply another version of writing. And one I can make a living off of. ú7ú Do you have a job? If so what? Not really. I loathe work. That's why my stories are so short. ú8ú Do you have a social life between the computer and college? Well... the same people I talk to through the computer, I talk to at college. BETWEEN the two, no; they're the same. My social life stinks otherwise. I'm still working my way out of a shell, you see. My friends make it all worthwhile. ú9ú Which comes first, college or computers? Or the chicken and the egg? Hee hee. Since I'm majoring in CS, most of the crud I do is on the computer anyway. But, I tend to get my work done really fast, so I goof around on the computer (or do any of the other hundreds of constructive things I do) before devoting my precious time to my schoolwork. I like do other stuff, ya see. Maybe #8 is a better place for this answer, but dammit, I'm too lazy to cut-n-paste. Okay. I've been learning the guitar on an acoustic I borrowed from a friend almost a year ago. Maybe I won't remind him I borrowed it, and I'll learn a while longer. Also, I eat candy a lot (while maintaining a lithe boyish figure) and it helps fuel my manic depressive mood swings. ú10ú I am a fan of your work, but often find it strange, such as the XIX thing in SoB #16, what was this? Well, *cough*. I really have a bone to pick with Kilgore about the placement of my rebuttal to the "Politics, Freedom, and the Human Spirit" article. I wrote the rebuttal while on a sugar high. I wanted Kilgore to place the rebuttal, or the serious article, in a separate section called "Nathan's Lies", to enhance the comic effect. I believe that most readers assumed the rebuttal and the article were one huge mush. Oh well. If you were indeed referring to the rebuttal, it was meant as a joke to be placed *far* away from the serious article, so the two would remain distinct. Anyway, if you want to get any serious meaning out of my pieces in #16, ignore the rebuttal and read the second article. ú11ú I liked the "Introduction to High School" bit in SoB # 15, I believe, was it meant to be symbolic, or was it just a cute story about kids going to high school? Well, it was symbolic, of course it was. I hardly think the story could be termed "cute". :) It wasn't really symbolic in a literary sense -- the whole thing was symbols; it was really an allegory, showing the vicious and disgusting cycle of hell which only exists with the apathetic but determined work of the principal, teachers, and students. I do not feel students are to blame for the educational system, but are sadly mistreated by it. ú12ú 5th grade isn't in middle school, that's one fault with your XIX thingie, just thought you might want to know. Uh, huh-huh, it is where I come from. Elementary is first through third grades, middle school is fourth through sixth, junior high is seventh and eighth, and high school is the rest. Don't be so quick to judge, my man, and the world will be a nice oyster. ú13ú What speed modem do you have? (Just outta curiosity.) 14.4. Zappo. I used a 2400 until last summer, if that sates your curiosity any better. ú15ú Nathan, do you have an Internet account, and if so do you use it often? I shore do. I have two, in fact. One's free from the university and the other my brother is paying for. I don't use the Internet as much as I did last summer, when I felt all my creativity (as well as my free time) wasting away (hence the bounty of beautiful literature in #7). The Internet sucks. ú16ú Is iSiS UNVEiLED the only BBS you really call? Yup. I try to keep away from modems as much as possible. I absolutely despise human contact. ú17ú Oh yeah, do you live on campus or off? Off campus at home. I despise human contact. But I've gotten used to my parents. ú18ú Do you plan to continue writing for SoB? Yup, I certainly do. I love to see my name plastered all over the table of contents, and appear in the SoB indices, and I love the attention, and I crave the kind words. Sometimes I fantasize about murdering Kilgore so I can even be editor. But then I realize it might simply be easier to start up my own zine. But then I realize that might seem a bit egotistical and selfish. If I ever come up with something that Kilgore is too embarrassed to print, I'll be sure to give it a toss in the direction of úSwanKú. ú19ú In what direction do you see your writings taking? ú20ú What future writings should we look for coming from you? I'll lump 'em in one answer. As you may have noticed, many of my pieces focus on youth. I feel that my childhood and teenage years were basically wasted due to psychological impositions beyond my control. I'm making it my duty and obligation to speak up for young people, and try to atone for the childhood I felt I didn't have, and try to reach those kids who are also in a situation like I was and help them recognize it and get out. (By the way, I'm only twenty myself.) That was some of the sappiest and truest shit I ever wrote. Don't worry about my current psychological state. I don't like to think of turning into a whining generation x-er, blaming everything on my parents. Things happened a certain way, and I'm trying to make up for it. Anyway, the second question. I have no concrete plans for what will come out of me in the future. I just write what I think up. Also, even if I do have a really cool idea brewing in my head right now, I certainly won't mention it, since I have a really rational belief that talking about an idea jinxes it and destroys my drive. It'll probably be fiction. I hope. I do essays when I can't make up stuff. Of course, I make up facts for my essays too sometimes. ú21ú Do you ever plan to make anything of your life? Nah. I don't like to think ahead too far. ú22ú Are you married, or planning to marry? Do you have any kids? Are any of their names Nathan? Do you plan on naming any of your kids, if you have any, Nathan? No, don't really think I'll be getting married, because Texas law forbids it, for my kind. But I could always move somewhere friendlier. As for kids, I doubt it. Maybe I'll adopt. Then again, that's illegal for my kind in Texas too. It still bewilders me why I would hate people so much. ú23ú Are you a ..mage of no small water..? Man, this is a trick question. I asked you what the hell that phrase meant, but then Kilgore changed BBS software two times and I didn't get to save your answer. I guess I'll just say, I'm a _wannabe_ "mage of no small water". ú25ú You seem to be a peaceful type of guy, is this real, or just a scam to make us think you won't harm us when we're not looking, but then you'll stab us in the back? (Yeah, I'm paranoid) I'm nice. My mom says I'm nice. My dad too. Everyone thinks I'm a nice peaceful kinda guy. But I have a dark side like anyone else. Luckily I have the gift to transfer my hatred and fear into my writing, and not take it out on people or helpless animals anymore. But that's a different question I just answered. No, I'm nice and trustworthy. I don't stab people in the back unless they're ignorant fucks and deserve it. Well, I don't do that anymore either. Usually when I despise someone I make it very obvious from the outset. ú26ú Is it happening? What? I dunno either. ú27ú Shit, questions for this kinda junk are hard to think of. Yeah. ú28ú When your playing MarioKart (c) which character are you/would you be? Players: o Mario o Luigi o Princess o Koppa Troppa o Bowser o Donkey Kong o Mushroom Head o Yoshi (Yeah, I'm bored, so?) Uh, I haven't played the game, but I'd say Bowser. I like dog names. ú29ú Have you been wondering why there hasn't been a number 4 in this whole thing, or are you just not paying any attention? I read the interview over before I started filling it in. ( if that's a secret, how you don't give interviews in person, then whoops.) I think the number four is perfectly fine. If this is some sort of conspiracy, though, please tell me before I lose my chance to chase insane delusions. It is a conspiracy. ú30ú Anything else you would like to tell the public, or tell me? I want to thank Kilgore for starting up State of unBeing and giving me (and others, of course) a place to vent my (and their, of course) feelings. What may look like a joke monthly collection of hack writing is really a serious creative outlet for all its writers. In a stupid commercialized world like today, that zine never would have been allowed to start up; and if it had, it would have turned cheap and colorful and vapid just to get enough sales so that it could survive another month. Kilgore took the difficult choice of releasing SoB directly to the Internet, which means that it's very hard to get response and a feel for just who our readers are, as computing people usually don't give a shit about acknowledging the things that they enjoy, whether it be e-zines or shareware or some other God-given right. But I will acknowledge SoB. I really think it has had a very positive influence on my life. I thank Kilgore for doing it. I don't know what would have happened if Apocalypse Culture Publications had never been created, but I almost certainly wouldn't be alive to know. Nice chatting with you Nathan. See you round, I guess. Yeah. Thanks for the interview too. It made me think. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ The Tower By: Cherub so you stand on the tower with the wind in your face and your cinched robe blows and flaps like a flag in the wind and you pledge your allegiance to it and take a deep breath of the spring that cools you but down on the ground stands a man dressed in brown who would stifle your flair he's unable to care and he wants you to share the breath that you take though it's free, for god's sake and the hard rain pours down it soaks your face and your hair and your flag has gone limp and the tower crumbles beneath you you're down on your knees you're a pitiful fool and your tears and the rain mix together but the man in blue on your shoulder calls out to you, tells you to hold her so you pick up your flag, and you wipe off your face and the scorn and the loss and the threats of yesterday are gone; you don't feel the vengeance you need to but you're thankful that she's here to lead you now your hair has dried up but your face still bears streaks from the rain that has gone on behind you and you now take to blue, as you stand on the tower you swear you'll never be the man in brown and you won't because she's here beside you. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Henry By: NeuRoNauT Give me no confusion And I'll tell you no more lies What would you like with that, A hamburger, or fries? I'd like to have the tail Of a blue dinosaur. You'll have to sit down now Until we order more. I'd like to see the boss And give him your left eye But sir, I am the manager Sir, would you LIKE to die? Yes I would, Thanks for it I like the way you smile Oh nevermind, I say We've been doing this awhile. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ All About You By: Cybermage It's all about you, the fragrance of bliss, the butterflies in your eyes, your "I"s, your "me"s, and my "we"s; my thoughts revolve, and they're all about you; you can pluck each one from the air, if you dare; if you care. I shower you with kisses that spiral down the drain, and make a slurping noise out of paper, folded paper, origami, orgasm, oragasping, for air blowing across your face on a winter day when the trees are bare and lunge at you with fur-covered paws, claws. Each droplet falls and springs and sings its crystal song and shatters into shards which fall about your feet and are all about you. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Alcohol By: Longshot Don't bitch at me for doing this article, but I seen too many people these past weeks with this problem and it makes me want to do this now. Alcohol, a substance of a drink that everyone is very familiar with. It is referred (in many religions) as "Devil's Blood", as for why, because once you drink a lot of it, you then will do things that you wouldn't do sober (i.e. Rape, Homicide, Suicide, etc.). Basically your judgment during the trance is destroyed for time being. Alcohol is considered a drug, drink enough you pack a buzz. Drink a shit load, you get out of sync and out of mind (Drunk). Many people has either died from it or their social and love life has been destroyed by it. Alcohol kills, it may not have killed so many in the past to have anybody worry. But drink a lot and your chances are high, you may not even die from the alcohol, but you can never tell. When drunk, your immune system becomes to a weak state of that period of time, with the immune system in a weak point, your capable of receiving illnesses and viruses easier. Alcohol is the leading cause for Car Wrecks, "Hit & Run's". Alcohol also brings down your judgments, when there is a fight or a situation that leads into verbal and physical abuse, it will end up with someone's death most of the times. When the situation has gone wrong, they will bring out a gun and, what they wouldn't ever do sober, they would murder within this state. Even in a physical fight, when someone to be under the strong influences of alcohol and to receive a vigorous blow to the chest area can cause death. And it will also will do more damage when you least expect it. A man at a concert was having a great time. Drunk and just headbanging to his favorite band. He was apparently headbanging too hard as well being drunk. He then later went home and fell asleep, and never woke up again. He smashed the front part of his brain, headbanging so hard being drunk. Little more than 20% of the drowning accidents in America is caused by alcohol that someone drank too much. Alcohol even destroys relationships, my friends will drink beer like it was water to them. But when they got so drunk, their gf's would be extremely pissed at what they did when they were drunk. The majority of my friends who has let Alcohol ruin their lives, ended because they slept with someone they didn't intentionally mean to do. The majority of homeless people are alcoholics, because with whatever money is left over from food, they spend on alcohol, cuz that's the only thing that will have them not go through all the misery and pain being suffered in their daily lives. And when given a second chance in the world, not many will be able to recover from it. There is countless numbers of ways how Alcohol is deadly. Some people's body can take more alcohol than others, some don't get hangovers the next morning, some even is able to have a strong control when they drink. But you must realize the risks of it. It's OK to drink some, but it's not OK to get drunk a lot. I witnessed a lot of shit going on in my life, and I know how it has fucked up people's lives, from that I swore to never drink alcohol. The only thing I ever drank was Strawberry Hill, and that's not really considered a drink, but that was a one day only. I am still on my ambition to never go to alcohol for fun or anything. Just ask yourself a question next time you feel like getting drunk... Is alcohol worth your life?!? ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Question Answers ú1ú ABA ú2ú Red, White, and Blue balls. ú3ú An unorganized method for slaves to escape north. ú5ú Bud ú6ú Adidas ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Some Information úSwanKú is Edited By: Adidas Editors Note: I'm sure there are some mistakes I made in here, if you find any, I just might send you a prize. úSwanKú is copyrighted (c) 1995 by Adidas. All rights are reserved to title, writings by Adidas, and intro screen. All writings copyrighted (c) by individual author. This 'zine may not be copied in entirety or in part without written consent of úSwanKú, or individual authors. To reach some úSwanKú folks, or download newest edition: SiLENCE : [512]453.1618 Home of úSwanKú Has a NUP* (Adidas') Seas of Cheese : [512]928.4082 Loads of Texts (Saint Java's) Internet Connector 1: sjung@tenet.edu (Godfather's) Internet Connector 2: stjava@bga.com (Saint Java's) Internet Connector 3: prozac@ccsi.com (Prozac's) * E-Mail Adidas on a Austin board, or E-Mail a úSwanKú Internet Connector for information about the NUP. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄúSwanKúÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ